Practicing What You Preach

Written by Gemma English

I’m not a coach, but I’ll tell you some things I’ve observed and that I admire about the coaches I know. 

In November, a trio of SHORE coaches and myself began the process of working on a book focused on how to build human-centered workplaces. At our writing retreat, the three women started by identifying some of the problems people currently face at work. Unsurprisingly, it was a long list.

One thing I noticed was that a lot of the problems were centered around a deficit: a lack of confidence, a lack of communication, a lack of clarity, a lack of empathy.

These are all skills, and they can be gained, primarily through increased attention (both internal and external) on honesty and compassion.

And while honesty and compassion are at the center of my personal value system, I still often recognized myself in the various forms of dysfunction that were discussed. It became clear to me over the retreat that even when you value something, it doesn’t make it easy or mean that it always shows up with you. Not without intention.

The second thing I noticed is that writing a book is hard. It’s hard by yourself, and it’s particularly complicated as a collaboration. 

Here’s what I really admire about this trio: They walk the walk. It was heartening to witness such vibrant, intelligent, competent women being so vulnerable with each other. Everyone admitted how frightening it was to share their writing, how they weren’t always sure what they had to contribute to the group. And at the same time, they were easily able to identify each other’s strengths, and how that could best play into the success of the project. Differences—instead of being points of conflict—became the foundation of a well-rounded team.

While writing, the discussions were all about how to center people at work in order to uplift them. What was cool to me—as a close-in observer—was that I could see the impact of this approach at play in the current team. An environment which emphasizes open discussion, positivity, and honesty fosters creativity. It’s also joyful, even when doing something hard.

As I was working with them, I listened to what they said, but I also watched what they did. In doing so, I learned a lot.